Daar is Kewers in my Ruggraat


About the book:

This is a true story.

The book is a diary of a woman’s journey with ulterior motives. There are many life stories, patterns-of-being, thoughts, images and metaphors intertwined in a web of hundreds of silk threads held together by sensitivity. Somewhere in the middle of all of this, behind a hospital door, is a woman dressed in black. It is a story about pain and morphine; it is a story about a woman who lived too long. There is no real ending, just another open door as life unfold in its most painful and inexpressible way.

Daar is Kewers in my Ruggraat (in gesprek met die swart Madonna), ʼn biografiese storie         (faksie), Cadar Printers, Port Elizabeth, 2012. Die boek is nou in tweede druk, en produksie deur Christel Foord. Die boek sal spoedig beskikbaar wees as ‘n e-boek. Die boek kan ook direk bestel word van Louisa. Sien kontak besonderhede.

Extract from interview with Prem Moodaley about the Black Madonna

(Sacred Feminism) https://www.sacredfeminism64.com/author/admin1/

Your art has encompassed powerful feminine archetypes.  You wrote an Afrikaans book “In Conversation with the Black Madonna” – Who is the Black Madonna and what would Her message be for women today? 

The Black Madonna is an embodiment of the Mother Archetype, as an alchemical vessel, a holding space and a uterus, in which life forms are born and dissolve. [The science of alchemy can be regarded as a metaphor for the psychological processes of change and transformation in the movement towards individuation (Jungian concept pertaining to realise the Self) or enlightenment (Buddhist understanding of waking up to what we already know about the true nature of reality)]. She is also an embodiment of the Eternal Feminine, that is forever present and that can bear the light and darkness, the polar opposites of life, with an integrating power that is so fierce, that it can shatter universes.

The story I wrote is a true story about a woman’s struggle with physical pain, at the mercy of a relentless disease. Her encounter with the Black Madonna in Barcelona changed her life. She experienced the presence of the Black Madonna in her inner being and felt protected, loved, and powerful.

She remembered who she was; powerful, strong, present to the immediate moment where life was happening, compassionate, in touch with her creative spirit that infected everything around her with her light and laughter. Through recognising the Eternal Feminine in herself, she entered the world, alive, awake and real. She is still living with unbearable pain, but with a zest for life that infuses everything around her with humour and light.

The Black Madonna’s message to all women is , “Remember me , I visit you in your dreams, in the music that stirs your heart, in the poetry that touches you deeply, in the movement of your hips when you dance your joy, in your solitude when I stroke your hair, in the moments when you feel unexpected excitement. Do not repress or ignore me. If I am ignored and forgotten, the intensity of the repressed feelings will be frightening and will fill you with fear. Even then, embrace me, listen to me and allow me as an important part of you, to become an integral part of your life. That will help you to remember that you are capable to bear and forebear anything that you encounter; that you are capable of feeling deep compassion, without being attached and that you can give to others unconditionally.”



Liewe Madonna

Ek kan nie onthou of ek al my storie vir jou vertel
het nie…Ek lewe met ’n onttrekkende liggaam en
brein en John en Sammy snoei my bome..ek is nie
seker of ek dit wil hê nie…my skaaphondjie huil
voor my bed, hy is so vuil, ek mag nie, ek mag nie…
want die dood is net ’n stappie weg. Ek kry so koud,
kouer en kouer…ek is een van my man se beelde
vasgevang in ’n bad van gebeelde hout, vas vaster,
vasste…ek kan nie eers my arm beweeg om die
melodrama van gekerfde polse te laat ontvou nie, my
arms is van hout, pragtig gekerf tot beeld.
Ek is jy, Madonna, ’n beeld gekerf uit hout wat
niks kan verander aan dit in en rondom my nie. Daar
kruip ’n koue hoendervleis oor my, ek is dood en ek
rou oor myself.

 - ​Annaliese